Last month, someone met a spreadsheet.
We’ll call her Brenda.
Brenda was… impressive.
Fourteen tabs.
Color-coded cells.
Formulas so complex they were one Excel update away from achieving consciousness.
Drop-downs everywhere.
Conditional formatting that looked like a bag of Skittles exploded—in a good way.
Brenda’s owner was proud.
“I’ve been using this for five years,” they said. “It does everything.”
Brenda was also crashing twice a week, occasionally eating data, and quietly testing her owner’s emotional stability.
Brenda needed help.
Her owner just thought this was “normal Excel behavior.”
A Very Predictable Spreadsheet Journey
If you run a business, this story probably feels familiar. Almost every serious spreadsheet follows the same lifecycle.
Stage 1: Innocence
“I’ll just use Excel for now.”
It’s a simple list. Maybe a few formulas. Life is peaceful. Birds are singing.
Stage 2: Growth
“Oh, I should track this too…”
Now there are more tabs. Some VLOOKUPs. You feel productive. Slightly smug, even.
Stage 3: Cleverness
“If I just add one more formula…”
Macros appear. Cells reference other cells that reference other cells. Only one person truly understands how it works—and they avoid touching it on Fridays.
Stage 4: Rationalization
“It’s fine. It still works. Mostly.”
There are crashes. Corruption. You save backups like you’re preparing for the apocalypse. Updating Excel feels risky. But hey—it still opens. Usually.
Stage 5: Chaos
“WHY IS EVERYTHING BROKEN?”
The file takes minutes to open. Excel freezes mid-scroll. Someone deletes a formula. The last clean backup is from three weeks ago. Data reconstruction begins… from memory.
Signs Your Spreadsheet Is Politely Asking for Retirement
Let’s do a quick check-in.
More Than One Person Uses It
If multiple people are editing the same spreadsheet, you’re relying on hope and good intentions for data integrity.
Many teams end up with files named:
Orders-FINAL-v2-FINAL-REALLY-FINAL-USE-THIS.xlsx
This is not version control. This is emotional damage.
Nobody Remembers How It Works
If you go on vacation and come back confused by your own spreadsheet, that’s a sign. If formulas require a “warm-up period” to understand, it might be time to intervene.
Excel Sounds Tired
When opening the file takes longer than making coffee, Excel is trying to tell you something. When it crashes more than it saves, it’s begging.
The Same Data Gets Entered Again… and Again… and Again
Customer details in orders.
Again in invoices.
Again in shipping.
That’s not efficiency—that’s self-inflicted pain.
Everyone Is Afraid of the Delete Key
If one wrong click can destroy hours of work, the system is fragile. When using a spreadsheet feels risky, it’s no longer helping—it’s stressing everyone out.
“Real-Time” Data Isn’t Actually Real-Time
Sales, finance, and operations all need up-to-date info—but everyone is looking at a different version from a different moment in time.
Congratulations. A very confusing time machine has been invented.
So… When Is It Time to Move On?
Here’s a simple, practical guideline many consultants use:
If your spreadsheet is critical to running the business, it’s doing too much.
Spreadsheets are amazing for:
- Personal tracking
- One-off reports
- Quick experiments
- Early-stage processes
But when:
- Multiple people depend on it
- The business slows down when it breaks
- Losing the data would be a nightmare
…it’s no longer “just a spreadsheet.” It’s a system. An unpaid, overworked system.
The Conversation That Usually Happens
It tends to go something like this:
Business Owner:
“But I’ve put so much work into this spreadsheet.”
Consultant:
“That’s actually the good news. This spreadsheet is a blueprint.”
Business Owner:
“Isn’t building a system expensive?”
Consultant:
“How expensive is downtime? Lost data? Three people spending hours fixing Excel instead of doing their actual jobs?”
Business Owner:
“…Okay, fair.”
The spreadsheet isn’t wasted effort. It proves the business understands its workflow. It highlights what matters, what breaks, and what needs automation.
That’s valuable insight—not something to throw away.
Brenda’s Retirement Plan
In Brenda’s case, her owner eventually upgraded to a proper system.
All of Brenda’s logic—the formulas, rules, and workflows—were carried over into something more reliable.
Now:
- Multiple people work at the same time
- Data is entered once
- Reports generate instantly
- Backups happen automatically
And most importantly…
No crashes.
No corruption.
No panic.
Brenda retired with dignity. She served her purpose well. But she was never meant to be a full-time business system—and that’s okay.
If You’re Thinking, “This Is Uncomfortably Familiar…”
Relax. This happens to almost everyone.
Pushing Excel this far doesn’t mean you made bad decisions—it means you understand your business well enough to build something that works.
The next step isn’t about abandoning your spreadsheet.
It’s about evolving it.
Using the right tool for the job doesn’t make things complicated—it usually makes them simpler.
And your spreadsheet?
It’ll thank you for the early retirement.
Takeaway:
Spreadsheets are fantastic—until they quietly become the backbone of your business. If you’re spending more time managing Excel than managing your company, it might be time for a friendly conversation. No judgment. Some spreadsheets out there make Brenda look like a beginner.